Up Too Late: An Endless Search for Mr.Right & Other Important Things in Life

The profile I have on gay.com states that I prefer rooting for rights in countries where being gay is still an unacceptable way of living rather than rooting for pride parades to cheer for businesses and commercialized events. I say there that I would like to see the day when citizens of "free and democratic" countries stand up and demand from their governments to put pressure on countries like Iran, Pakistan and India, where being gay is the equivalent of a death sentence. here's the contents of a rather interesting chat i had with a stranger tonight...


1:13:06 AM :stranger: how come u r concerned with gays in Iran?
1:14:24 AM :me: because they are the ones ending up stoned and hanged because they are gay...i haven't seen something similar happen here...
1:14:58 AM :stranger: gays in Iran claim they have a wonderful life
1:15:13 AM :stranger: n some turn to Islam here
1:15:42 AM :me: hmmm, when you say "claim", i assume you mean your friends and acquaintances...
1:15:58 AM :stranger: I mean gay guys I talked to
1:16:19 AM :stranger: I got insulted by gay Indian guys once because I was discussing the situation there
1:16:27 AM :me: http://www.globalgayz.com/g-iran.html
1:16:29 AM :stranger: they told me I knew nothing
1:16:44 AM :me: well, it is a bit demeaning to have to criticize your own culture and society...
1:16:51 AM :me: not everyone can do it...
1:17:14 AM :stranger: above all by foreigners
1:17:22 AM :stranger: that is why it is considered none of our business sometimes
1:17:36 AM :stranger: actually only a minority can do it
1:17:38 AM :me: sometimes people are so proud of the culture they grew up in that criticizing it can be harsh..
1:17:44 AM :stranger: n they usually r ostracized
1:17:53 AM :me: what do you mean they "turn to islam here"?
1:18:01 AM :stranger: they criticize it behind doors
1:18:18 AM :stranger: I had a bf who turned back to Islam
1:18:51 AM :stranger: mostly because he felt he could provoke this way but he did not even admit to that
1:19:15 AM :me: hmmm, well, i haven't seen all canadian gays stand up and criticize canada for what it's done in the past [and at times, today] against gay people...the "only a minority can do it" applies to anywhere
1:19:27 AM :me: only the few stand up for the many...most of the time, most places
1:19:35 AM :stranger: but a minority did
1:19:40 AM :stranger: that is why we have rights
1:19:50 AM :me: of course...and in Iran, a minority does speak out...
1:19:52 AM :stranger: not because the homophobes abandonned their stance
1:20:07 AM :stranger: those who do not get hanged
1:20:30 AM :me: yes, i mean, most of the ones who don't...
1:21:04 AM :stranger: it is almost suicidal to confront the current rulers
1:21:12 AM :me: oh, really? why did he go back to Islam? you mean, rejected his sexuality?
1:21:19 AM :me: but some still do it...
1:21:26 AM :stranger: no, he still fucks guys
1:21:33 AM :stranger: he just feel more guilty
1:21:45 AM :stranger: he thinks he leads a sinful life
1:22:02 AM :stranger: n fucks even more guys because that is usually what feeling dirty makes u do
1:22:20 AM :me: interesting...but he's religious?
1:22:30 AM :stranger: do u think so?
1:22:33 AM :stranger: I do not
1:22:44 AM :stranger: I think he found a new way to provoke people
1:22:57 AM :stranger: n feel he is part of a mad crowd
1:22:57 AM :me: what do you mean?
1:23:18 AM :stranger: Muslims r what Communists were decades ago
1:23:41 AM :me: hahahaha... why do you say that?
1:23:48 AM :me: because of the situation in the middle east?
1:23:57 AM :stranger: the situation everywhere
1:24:06 AM :stranger: there is Muslim terrorism in China
1:24:15 AM :stranger: in the Philippines
1:24:46 AM :stranger: so it makes him feel good to be in the tough gang
1:24:53 AM :stranger: being a faggot
1:24:56 AM :me: terrorism? you mean, alleged terrorism China likes to advertise, to make use of its Muslim minority? :P
1:25:06 AM :stranger: I have lived in China
1:25:16 AM :stranger: u do not hear about terrorism on Chinese TV
1:25:16 AM :me: right...
1:25:25 AM :me: no, but the world does
1:25:26 AM :stranger: u hear from mouth to mouth
1:25:37 AM :stranger: n it is not true?
1:25:45 AM :stranger: u never heard about the Ouighour?
1:26:05 AM :stranger: and about Mindanao?
1:26:30 AM :me: yes, and i also heard about twelve Ouighour "alleged" terrorists who were kept in Guantanamo for four years before it was finally decided they had nothing to do with terrorism...but they couldn't be
1:26:36 AM :me: returned to china for fear of torture
1:26:41 AM :me: so they sent them to albania
1:26:42 AM :me: :P
1:27:04 AM :stranger: that is horrible compared to the vacation prisons in Irak
1:27:25 AM :me: i am not saying either is good...but you're changing the subject
1:27:29 AM :stranger: we all know that Islam is a tolerant religion
1:27:42 AM :stranger: really? I m changing the subject?
1:28:21 AM :me: guantanamo / irak / albania ...very comparable
1:28:29 AM :stranger: really? I do not think so
1:28:40 AM :me: tell me why that is
1:28:42 AM :stranger: it is too easy to all put in the same basket
1:29:08 AM :me: of course...which is why i am saying it is comparable...
1:29:15 AM :me: not identical
1:29:42 AM :stranger: it is easy to talk about a place that has been mediaticized
1:29:57 AM :stranger: when most prisons in Muslim countries have not
1:30:11 AM :stranger: u think jails in Morocco r a nice place?
1:30:16 AM :stranger: or in Egypt?
1:30:24 AM :me: oh, don't even start with that...the west sees anything Muslim as disgusting...
1:30:28 AM :me: let alone prisons
1:30:37 AM :stranger: n it is not?
1:31:01 AM :me: you think it is?
1:31:19 AM :stranger: u have never heard about genocides in India?
1:31:24 AM :stranger: or in Afghanistan?
1:31:43 AM :me: and...i am supposed to blame all Muslims for it?
1:32:05 AM :stranger: not Muslims but the ideas
1:32:13 AM :me: Muslim ideas?
1:32:18 AM :stranger: Islamic ideas
1:32:31 AM :stranger: Islam is a very aggressive religion
1:32:39 AM :stranger: it has always been
1:32:52 AM :me: interesting...it sounds like the Pope would have nodded at your comments :)
1:32:57 AM :stranger: u think north Africa has become Muslim because they were in love with Arabs
1:33:15 AM :stranger: the Pope is too coward to say anything
1:33:21 AM :stranger: close to the reality of history
1:33:27 AM :me: no, it became Muslim because Islam was the first monotheistic religion to leave race out of religion
1:33:36 AM :stranger: really?
1:33:50 AM :stranger: it became Muslim because they hard swords
1:34:01 AM :stranger: who cared about racism?
1:34:02 AM :me: are you quoting the pope now?
1:34:10 AM :stranger: they all thought they were the top race
1:34:17 AM :me: Christians did...they used blacks as slaves, going back to the romans
1:34:23 AM :stranger: I can quote many
1:34:37 AM :stranger: I do not waste my time reading inquisitors
1:34:50 AM :stranger: slaves sold by the Muslims
1:35:07 AM :me: it's funny because from your writing, it sounds so similar to Pope speeches :)
1:35:09 AM :stranger: the Romans were not Christians should I remind u
1:35:16 AM :stranger: so what?
1:35:21 AM :me: Muslims aren't allowed to be involved in slave trade...
1:35:29 AM :me: so, nothing...you have lots in common :)
1:35:37 AM :stranger: really? who sold the slaves to the English?
1:35:50 AM :me: starting in 300, roman empire was christian
1:35:51 AM :me: :)
1:36:01 AM :stranger: n Muhammad had his own slave girl to fuck
1:36:03 AM :me: 300 AD
1:36:29 AM :me: review your knowledge of history, improve on your ignorance and then pretend you know what you're talking about :))

And I blocked him off.... :))

Wow...the world is far from where it should be...

I watched "American Dreamz" tonight, a rather silly and senseless film that can be rather entertaining if one omits all of its political incorrectness and its stereotyping- and generalization- reeking scenes and characters. I did like Omer, the character who is an angry Muslim from the Middle East whose mother was bombed by American bombs in 2003 in Baghdad. He comes to USA to become a suicide bomber but instead of blowing himself up, through a series of coincidental but funny events, he ends up on the "American Dreamz" show, a show similar to American Idol and as a result, "Omerizes" America.

After seeing it, I coincidentally clicked on CBC Newsworld to see what's new...On the bottom of the screen, I read "Saddam Hussein...has been executed". Suddenly, all memories of a couple of months ago, when Slobodan Milosevic surprised the world with his own sudden death, came back.

I stood there, in disbelief, flipping from CBC to CTV to CNN and then finally, a business channel that was showing an interview done 15 years ago where Hussein was answering a journalist's question on how he wished to be remembered.

When Kosovo happened, twenty of my cousins were rounded up and shot military style by Serbian paramilitaries. My brother went missing for almost six years. For some of that time, I wanted to see Slobodan Milosevic hanging at the mercy of a tight rope tied to his neck to repay what he had done to me, my family and hundreds of thousands of other whose lives were ruined because of him.

My anger calmed down years after, when I began to realize that his immediate death would not have brought lasting satisfaction to the millions of victims of the Bosnian and Kosovar wars. Just as I'd realized the importance of his punishment in a lifetime prison sentence, Milosevic died of a mysterious heart problem...Once again, his victims were left mouth agape, their thirst for justice unquenched.

Tonight, as I try to grasp what just happened, I am left with questions of how a country in such incomprehensible turmoil and huge human loss could show the iron fist of justice so severely...I am not happy, for execution is never the answer...

Ok, this is a big step for me, making new year's resolutions. Usually, I don't tend to make any and I do just fine, but this year, I decided I'm going to follow the billions of hypocrites who make plans to do things they end up not doing...

EXCEPT, I am making realistic resolutions...these are definitely doable.

Here they are:

Resolution #1: Will try to take life less seriously.
Resolution #2: Will become more organized in career-planning.
Resolution #3: At the advice of many friends, will try to "open up", that is, become more informal with people...
Resolution #4: Will try to finish up a draft of a biographical novel on someone dear to me.
Resolution #5: Will NOT lower my standards for Mr.Right. I am not giving up just yet...

Haha, this is hilarious...These have got to be my favourite freakouts in Montreal and the world...you can find the article on the Hour website at http://www.hour.ca

The Year in Review: Top 50 freakoutsIsa Tousignant, Meg Hewings, Jamie O'Meara, Amy German and Bugs Burnett

The year in review, from crazy to crazier, in no particular order!

1. It's a bird, it's a plane... no really, it's a plane! Folks at the Tam-Tams weren't hallucinating, for once, when a small Cessna freaked everyone out by landing on Parc Ave. Sept. 10 after suffering engine failure. City hall is still arguing over what to call the new airport.

2. It's a bird, it's a bird flying... it's a bird flu! H5N1 got as far as Europe by last spring, freaking out hypochondriacs (and, okay, the World Health Organization) concerned that we may be on the verge of the world's next global flu pandemic, following three in the 20th century. And then it was summer and we all lived. But we are 10 times more likely to be infected during cold weather, and here we go again...

3. At a Tim Hortons in Pictou, Nova Scotia, Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay explains to U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice that Timbits are actually supposed to be the hole of the doughnut. "You see, Condie, the Timbit goes in the hole...www!!

4. The July War (says Lebanon), or the Second Lebanon War (says Israel) - they can't even agree on what to call it - begins after Hezbollah abducts two Israeli soldiers. A ballistic Israel goes tit for tat and kills 1,056 Lebanese civilians in the process, losing 44 of their own to Hezbollah rockets, drawing international criticism from all but Canada and the U.S. for having a disproportionately large tit.

5. Members of Montreal's Lebanese community, Canada's largest, lose it after Côte-des-Neiges/NDG borough council members deny a motion for a moment of silence recognizing the seven Al-Akhrass family members, killed in the bombing in Lebanon, who lived there. Borough officials claimed the motion was the work of Hezbollah, though a motion to bomb Côte-des-Neiges was also defeated.

6. Laval sociopath Kimveer Gill blows a gasket and guns down 20 students at Dawson College for no discernible reason, killing one, Anastasia De Sousa, before being shot by police. It opens up old Montreal wounds while making life miserable for well-meaning goth kids and morning whisky drinkers everywhere.

7. On May 30, otherwise known as "Black Tuesday" by those enamoured of the smoky treats, Quebec's anti-smoking legislation kicked in and, contrary to long-held expectations, there was not revolution in the streets. And aside from a current bar owners' court challenge, not a whole lot in the way of complaining either. On the other hand, it's only the first week of December...

8. Canadians go to the polls on Jan. 23. Early on Jan. 24, Paul Martin's Liberals admit defeat to Stephen Harper's Conservatives. On Feb. 6 Stephen Harper swears in as Canada's 22nd Prime Minister. On Feb. 7 construction of the Death Star begins...

9. Will she keep him, did she steal him, was the father fully informed? Madonna's adoption fiasco of a Malawian "orphan" explodes in the media, which descended en masse upon Heathrow in wait of the doomed child's arrival to her England home. "White lady billionaire absconds with poor black man's baby!" Oprah condones it, but will the Malawian government?

10. Britney dumps Kevin and moves to Paris, pantyless land of body shots and shared nylons! Her fans freak: What kind of a mother is she becoming? But then get reassured: "It's been so long since I've been out on the town with friends," the starlet explains on her MySpace page. "Anyway, thank God for Victoria's Secret's new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me."

11. YouTube's overnight star lonelygirl15 creates an outcry when it's revealed - gasp! - that she's not actually just a lonely cutie who digs webcam confessions, but a New Zealand actress named Jessica Rose, whose meandering thoughts were scripted. Twenty-four million viewers were duped... not bad acting at all.

12. Montreal mixed martial artist Georges St-Pierre breaks down in hysteria on Nov. 18 as he wins the welterweight belt away from champion Matt Hughes in America's biggest existing fighting bout, the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Congrats GSP!

13. Tanya Birkbeck, CBC Radio 1: "...And there are at least two vehicles that we know of that have been trapped underneath this huge slab of concrete. And the problem is the emergency workers have not even been able to get in to check on the condition of the people who are in these vehicles... So police are trying to decide at this moment, along with other officials and engineers, if they should bring the bridge down in a controlled manner to avoid having it fall and injuring more people."

Fredricka Whitfield, CNN Anchor: "Oh, that's interesting."

14. U.S. Defense Secretary for life Donald Rumsfeld blew minds by finally allowing himself to be arm-twisted into retirement on Nov. 8, one day after it might have made a difference to Republican election efforts, and one week after Bush said he'd stand by him for the duration of his term. Like "Brownie," he was doing a heck of a job.

15. Madrid Fashion Week bans skinny models by imposing a Body Mass Index minimum of 18 on the girls on the runways. Believe it or not, it causes an outrage in the fashion industry - 30 per cent of the girls have to drop out. Did I mention the average woman's BMI is 25?

16. Hollywood drivers, watch out: Lindsay Lohan's on the loose! The Brat Pack queen can't drive for shit. In 2006 she was in no less than four vehicular altercations, one of which resulted in a sprained wrist. And that's not even mentioning the parking tickets. Maybe someone should take baby's Beemer away?

17. Speculation was rampant as to whether Suri Cruise, TomKat's elusive progeny, was a) an alien, b) a robot, c) an Asian adoptee, d) a genetic experiment, e) the Infanta of the Scientologists, or f) nonexistent. The Annie Leibovitz portrait of the Cruise trifecta on the September cover of Vanity Fair implies she is all of the above.

18. At first, it seemed like maybe the outrage over TV's "Kramer," a.k.a. Michael Richards, having an onstage meltdown rife with racist expletives was a good thing. Then it dawns on us that all this fuss obscures the real news about the racist socio-economic and foreign policies of the U.S. government that cause waaaay more damage to people of all colours than one nasty little word.

19. The B.C. Lions' victory celebration on Nov. 19 takes a tragic turn when the Grey Cup breaks in two: The bowl came clear off when it was passed to Lions guard Kelly Bates, the hardware apparently no match for the 6-foot-3, 296-pound monster. "I just started shaking it and it snapped," Bates said. "What are you going to do?"

20. Our land ain't so glorious and free, eh? Canadians are outraged when Justice Dennis O'Connor unveils his official inquiry into the case of Maher Arar, a 34-year-old Syrian-born Canadian arrested in New York in 2002 and sent to Syria where he was tortured. The official inquiry clears Arar's name and puts much of the blame on the RCMP, which passed on false information to U.S. authorities that Arar was an Islamic extremist.

21. Borat comes to America and makes sexiest comic explosion ever. High freakout marks for "craziest nudie wrestling scene," and to frat boys in the film who take Sacha Baron Cohen to court saying they were duped by the film's production crew into behaving like the scary-drunk, knuckle-headed, racist and sexist jerk-offs they are.

22. Cinefiles mourn when Parc Cinema closes. They write tearjerker missives to Hour about their beloved rep house cinema as if it was their nearest and dearest that had just bit the dust. A few months later (elation!) when news breaks that Parc will come back from the dead.

23. HIV/AIDS activists flip out when Stephen Harper doesn't deliver at the International AIDS Conference held in Toronto. Harper refuses to increase funding for the disease and is a no-show at the world's most important gathering on the world's most deadly disease. And finally Canadian citizens get it: He doesn't care about the world's sick, poor, homosexual, women and orphans.

24. After many embarrassments, the poorly attended, much derided New Montreal FilmFest, a.k.a. "the Spectra Festival," announces they are folding after just one year. Organizers and film lovers don't mourn the loss, but they certainly will miss the bazillions in taxpayer arts funding that went down the drain.

25. Montreal has plenty of streets named after all sorts of dubious historical figures and assorted saints, and one very nice avenue named after a very nice park. When city council proposes renaming this street after ex-premier Robert Bourassa, a language-law pioneer, many of Parc Ave.'s "ethnic" and "minority" communities, including Greeks, Hassids, anglos and others, take it as a kick in the teeth.

26. Sean Penn chain-smokes his way through a Toronto Film Festival press conference. Everybody then spends the next few months arguing about whether to fine him or not, while fretting that if they do, TO will come off as the petty backwater it actually is. It is unclear whether anyone realizes how unlikely it is that Penn would actually notice the fine.

27. If we are what we eat, then we're pretty disgusting: 2006 brought E. coli in the spinach, and salmonella in Hershey's bars as well as in Wendy's croutons. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency's recall website (www.inspection.gc.ca/english/corpaffr/recarapp/recaltoce.shtml) is the gateway to a plethora of disgusting food-related paranoiac fantasies. Visit today, and visit often - you can even subscribe to get their Health Alerts sent directly to your inbox.

28. On March 8, the Habs' long-expected purge of malcontented metrosexuals reached its apex with the ouster of former puck-minding poster boy José Théodore in a trade to Colorado (where his current 3.06 "goals against" average ranks 35th among NHL goalies). Freaking Colorado fans, on the hook for his $5.5-million salary this year and $6-million next, come to terms with being sold the hockey equivalent of Florida swampland.

29. Partying heiress Paris Hilton shows up in a Vegas nightclub in November to hear Jay-Z perform. When Jay-Z leaves the stage, crooner Joshua Radin observes, "Paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from [a] Grey Goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her 'record' on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs. She gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves... " That's so NOT hot.

30. She says she was joking, but who's to believe her? Country star Faith Hill freaks out on camera when the award for Female Vocalist of the Year goes to ingénue Carrie Underwood at the Country Music Awards. WHAT?!

31. Outremont's Hassidic Yetev Lev synagogue infuriates YMCA du Parc members when it pays for tinted windows at the Y after complaints that their children were unwittingly watching women in various states of undress. A petition is out to remove the new windows.

32. In the World Cup finals, Algerian-French soccer hero Zinedine Zidane loses it and head-butts an opponent, Marco Materazzi, in the chest, an action that caused the match to veer out of French favour at a crucial point. After much public derision, President Chirac paints "Zizou" as a national hero, a "man of heart and conviction." Zidane later confirms that Materazzi had repeatedly insulted Zidane's mother and sister - the irony of a racially tense France depending on one of its colonized citizens to win the Cup is lost on no one.

33. Did he quit? Was he fired? Nobody is quite sure whether Alouettes coach Don Matthews left for the health reasons he cited, nor if the departure of the "winningest coach in the CFL" is a good thing for Montreal's ever-popular men in tight pants. Fans are on pins and needles, and not just from sitting on the concrete at Molson Stadium.

34. It was a terrible thing to watch, that "black blood" (in Don Cherry parlance) that squished out of Habs centre Saku Koivu's eye after Carolina forward Justin Williams sliced him under his visor. Worse was the tabloid feeding frenzy that raged in the ensuing days, when a press photographer snuck into his hotel room and blew a flashbulb right in his eyes - just what he needs when recovering from surgery to reattach a retina.

35. Everybody foresaw a seven-game series and put their money on the Yankees. But the smart money knew that the St-Louis Cardinals, who got underdogged right out of business by Boston last year, wouldn't let it happen again. They won the 2006 World Series in five games flat.

36. Call them the most desperate ploys for attention ever as Britney "mother of two" Spears and Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan intentionally hopped out of cabs in front of paparazzi sans culottes for the sake of publicity on four separate occasions each. (Ew!) At least Margaret Trudeau had bipolar syndrome to blame it on. What are their excuses?

37. Though he claims to not have seen the "entirety of the sketch" before it was broadcast, separatist leader André Boisclair is now regretful for appearing in a Brokeback Mountain sketch that featured bedfellows Bush and Harper as gay cowboys on MusiMax. Boisclair's perhaps inappropriate attempt at humour sparked criticism from around the globe and his own party.

38. Feminist lobby and advocacy groups lose their legal edge this past September when the minister in charge, Bev Oda, defends the Conservatives' cuts and the Status of Women loses 40 per cent of their funding because she believes the move is "good for women." More like good for Conservatives who don't want "women's rights" cogs tossed into their right-wing wheels.

39. GQ's "Newlyweds of the Year," Pam Anderson and Kid Rock call it quits after getting married four times at four different places across the globe, and only having been married for four months. Says Anderson, "Truth is, Bob [Kid Rock] is great in many ways - we just don't belong together." Did she need to get married x4 to figure this out?

40. Gwyneth Paltrow is claiming she has been misquoted after making anti-American statements to Portugal's Diário de Notícias. The problem is that this ain't the first time for Gwennie, as last February she told Britain's the Star, "Brits are far more intelligent and civilized than Americans." As far as Americans are concerned, the Brits can have her.

41. Between her porn shots, allegations that she was once a prostitute and general ramblings of abuse suffered at the hands of Paul McCartney, Heather Mills hasn't stopped freaking out all year. Things are looking up for Paul, however, as Mills just announced that she would represent herself in the divorce. So far she's even made Yoko look good.

42. Despite pressure not to from the entirety of the international community, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il decides to set off his own nuclear weapons tests as an act of defiance. The act is viewed by the international community as nothing more than an attention-grabbing, dictator-sized tantrum from a wackadoo with power.

43. From losing one child to having another, being sued over its paternity and then pseudo-marrying her lawyer Howard K. Stern, the world has had about enough of Anna Nicole Smith's endless televised drama spewing. The former model can presently be found squatting in a Bahamian mansion where she is about to be forcibly evicted despite her (delusional) claims of ownership.

44. Arrested for drunk driving on July 28, police report that Mel Gibson drunkenly quipped to one deputy, "You motherfucker. I'm going to fuck you." Then Gibson said, "Fucking Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world... Are you a Jew?" Gibson also yelled at a female officer, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" Don't expect Gibson to be nominated for any more Oscars.

45. We're wearing flip-flops in November while snickering at pictures of snowdrifts on Vancouver's beaches. A week later, we stop laughing as our faces freeze into the usual winter rictus.

46. Bank statistics estimate that the market value of a condominium on the Island of Montreal rose by as much as 25 per cent - these are craaazy times for home buyers, who love their new neighbourhoods until they realize that their friends can't afford to move there.

47. In May a very drunk Joan Rivers takes to the stage at Australia's televised version of the Emmy Awards. In a screamingly funny five-minute tirade she attacks everybody, from Tom Cruise ("He was present for the birth of his baby - too bad he wasn't there for the conception!") to the studio audience. Have another shot, Joan.

48. Thirty years after the 1976 Olympic Games, organizers of the Montreal Outgames lose a whopping $5.3-million. As unpaid suppliers freak out, Montreal Outgames co-chair Marielle Dupéré dares to quip, "There are no regrets about the games. Montreal needs this kind of international event to position itself in the market." Over 200 creditors are owed more than $2-million and some are threatening to sue.

49. Conservative Environment Minster Rona Ambrose is criticized by green activists for her new environmental plan that repudiates the Kyoto Protocol. The world sees red at the Green Conference when Ambrose shows up in Nairobi a week late for November's UN Conference on Climate Control, for which she was conference president. French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin quips, "Europe has to use all its weight to stand up to this sort of environmental dumping."

50. Rabidly anti-gay Rev. Ted Haggard resigns as head of the 30-million-strong U.S. National Association of Evangelicals on Nov. 3 after a male prostitute claims having monthly crystal meth-fuelled sex sessions with Haggard over three years. A disgraced Haggard - married with children - admits, "I am guilty of sexual immorality!" The incident also serves notice to other religious closet cases that their days are also numbered.

I was writing this morning and overhearing conversations of the tennis club members at the same time when one of the members, in his 60s, started talking about the office party he organized for last night. He and his 12 staff [ kids' charity group] went out to a restaurant in the gay village of Montreal, followed by a visit to Mado, a bar he named a "transvestite" bar. He said Mado was great, that "the guy" was super funny and he deserved fame...

As I continued writing, I couldn't help but feel good somehow that straight older men can be accepting. It was enlightening really. While I wrote about nonsense, I had a smile on my face... I know it's not a big deal, but somehow, it feels like it should be...and SOMEHOW, yet again, it IS :)

Technorati Tags: Mado, drag, Montreal, acceptance

Alright, so all is well...Wow, I have become a big drama queen...

He messaged me today to see what I was doing. I slowly brought up everything I felt in the last week to the non-ex in question. I told him how I felt then about his get-back-together scheme with the ex [angry and sad] and how I feel about it now [happy and glad]. i could tell he was just realizing what he had done to me...

BUT...He was totally sweet, apologized for the way he acted and said that he felt really bad for sounding so selfish when he told me he had gotten back together with his ex. He said he is not usually this way and that he feels bad about it. Aside from this, there was one thing that did make me smile, though I don't really feel attracted to him anymore...he said: "I can honestly say that I would have been happy with you because I was happy every time we talked. Of course it's not going to work out now, but one day, if you feel about me what I feel about you, we may."

Of course, this was his way of ensuring friendship and possible relationship chance in the future...after all, he IS a diplomat-in-training, building bridges is what he does best.

I don't think I will ever go out with him in a sense of dating him, at least I can't see that happening from my present point of view. I feel like I have gotten to know a side of him that I didn't quite like, the fact that he could try to move on so quickly from someone he's spent so much time with.

But I can honestly say he is a good friend, smart, super sociable and friendly...I have a good vibe about him. We talked for hours tonight about movies from the Balkans and no, you can't talk about that with just anyone...

I have two exams tomorrow...I'm glad I feel this way today :) I need it :D

Hmmm, I feel SOOO much better today....In fact, it's almost as if nothing had happened...ALMOST...Talking with Qesar is always an uplifting time...he's so positive and gives such positive advice, I feel refreshed after chatting with him.

Tonight, I went to see my friend Michael and had a good chat with him about relationships [though I didn't tell him about the whole Quebec thing]....Afterwards, I dropped by at Jenna and Jaime's for a small update on their trip to New York. They want to do it in the spring again, so I think I'll go with them then. They are so wonderful... I did tell them about my misfortune, but only after they promised they won't tell anyone... I don't like sharing stories with the world, but i think they are safe to tell.

Somehow, I am too private in these matters. This blog makes things easier... In fact, I feel better every time I write...

Somehow, I don't feel as sad, angry or lonely anymore...I did like getting to know him...though i would have liked to know him for a longer period of time, under different circumstances...here i start again...ok, no, I'm glad this ended before it turned into something serious...then it would have been worse... much worse

Ok, out of the two, I obviously choose my camera. One choice I CAN make... :)

It's funny, this has gone on for a few weeks, but I really didn't feel like writing about it until last night, the night before I just found out the guy is not over his ex. :(

i went to bed late, I got up early, still pondering what just happened. I had no expectations of this, yet somehow, I did expect it to turn out better than anything I've been in before....Result: Big disappointment....What's even worse is that I can't tell him how I felt about him and how I FEEL about him now because it would just be too much to say about something that didn't even begin to take a form of its own.

The festival showed a great last film..."20 centimetros".
I have a great ending to my two-day flirting with the librarian...the guy thought i was 29...ummm...WHAT??? 29??? bring me a mirror...most people say i look 21, when in reality, i'm 23...

so, though i like to say his comment did not affect my buying L'oreal's new men's line of products, something in me says that I just needed another comment to do it. Besides, it looks like a good product...why not? :P