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Sana Wara Sana

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

"Sana Wara Sana" is the title of Nancy Ajram's song [Arabic]. It's a song that I don't particularly like, but one that truly expresses my emotions this morning.

My friend M. fell in love with someone while here, in England, last term. She didn't know if that was it - real love, that is, but she wanted to pursue it further. Her family, upon hearing about the fling, immediately found her a suitor they deemed worthy. 

She came back to University last week with him. She seemed happy, but it all seemed artificial. When we mentioned her future husband, I looked at her, and without me saying anything, she said, "you can read me so well, I can tell." I wanted to hug her and tell her that I understood, but instead, I just smiled and said that maybe she was wrong, maybe I was thinking about how joyous she looked.  I can safely say that if ever I loved someone for their personality, it is M. I was so saddened to hear the news, and the fact that the girl I had met three months ago, so insistent about pursuing a career, rather than get stuck in the life of a housewife, had to give in to the demands of her family.

I love her so much more for it, because I know the sacrifices she has to make for her family, but I couldn't help crying this morning thinking about her shattered dream - As a male, even as a gay male, I have so much more freedom wherever I go than would a successful young woman who wants to pursue a life of helping others. I hate that.

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