A missed opportunity
Sunday, November 02, 2008
I sat next to a genius on Friday, at a recruiting dinner set up by the mother search engine in London.
He was cute, smart, witty, funny, and the most important thing of all, optimistic about life: Blue eyes, short trimmed brown hair, tall and slim, good teeth. We clicked quite quickly - i sat on his right side and another gay dude on his left. Fortunately, the other guy has a boyfriend, so I didn't see it as a competition.
We talked for two and a half hours straight. We stood up from the dinner table only because everyone else was gone downstairs to dance - I was at once amazed that this was happening, and anxious to see where this all was leading.
We went downstairs. We took the ugliest photo ever in this photobooth, where he actually looks nice and I made a bad face (Advice: never make an ugly face when you're taking a photo with someone you've just met)... Then, I said I was going to the washroom (or the toilet, as they all call it here), he offered to get me a drink, I said I'd be back.
I got back - he had disappeared. He reappeared fifteen minutes later, talking to one of his colleagues. I waved, he waved back. That was it. I can't understand it: He even talked to me about his weekend routine, his recent addiction to video games, the fact that he doesn't smoke and also prefers to be with "people" who don't smoke either, told me all about his activist brother, won my heart by telling me about his trips to Nagorno-Karabakh, and then finally explained that his firm had a pilot project in Serbia and in Montenegro. He asked me if I was on Facebook [why???] ... Maybe I should have asked him to add me - maybe he can't add me because it would be a conflict of interest. I don't know.
All I know is, I spent yesterday searching for him online. he might as well be named John Doe, though, as there are 6000 T.. E....'es out there living in London. I even sent strange e-mails to random TE's, hoping they are him. But one by one, they are turning out not to be him. And I feel so pathetic. I can't believe I'm doing this now - I should have just asked him then. I'm becoming a perfect version of a stalker right now.
I'm consoling myself by saying that I've been out of the dating scene for a while, which is why I'm acting so reservedly, but it might not be that at all. It might just be that I hesitate asking someone out for fear of rejection, the fear felt by both straights and gays, men and women anywhere and everywhere.
Going out with a new friend from Bahrain is making me feel better. She's great - very open-minded and mature, friendly, curious, beautiful ... She's one of the most beautiful girls in my college. We consoled each other - Her boyfriend just left her, I didn't even give a chance to a potential one.
Labels: London, men problems, mr.right candidate, sad, United Kingdom
