Up Too Late: An Endless Search for Mr.Right & Other Important Things in Life

I have been slightly unfaithful to this blog..in fact, i've cheated and not written about my last week and a half, despite some very interesting things that took place...

Sadly, something happened a few days ago that made me feel like i really need to write on here.

It all started innocently, as any protest day would. I decided not to go to work for half of the day. Instead, I joined the brigades of hard-working human rights activists and volunteers from Montreal's four university Amnesty International groups which had put energies together and had come up with a manifestation together to call for the closing of the disaster that Guantanamo Bay turned out to be for the world history of human rights.

We were all together in the change room, getting ready to get into our orange jumpsuit outfits. The atmosphere was somber, to say the least and as we all changed into our clothes, what we had on was not us anymore. I looked at the things I was putting on, an orange jumpsuit from the army surplus store, a piece of clothing that I would otherwise wear it during Halloween to wear the true colours of the season. On my head, I put on a black hood similar to the ones used in Guantanamo.

A girl came in with a camera. The sudden instinct of wanting to test my camera's pixels and, at the same time, take some pics with my new friends sounded like a good idea. I gave her my camera to make the shot... A second later, flashes of Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib [among other prisons in Iraq] detainees pictures appeared in front of me. Suddenly, I felt like a soldier who wanted to make the event a sensation, a memento, something to remember the day by... And an orange jumpsuit with a black hood was nothing to be proud of...

The demo went super well, seeing as it was -25 degrees Celsius outside. There were about twelve detainees and about 70-90 protestors. We walked along St.Catherine St., the main street in downtown Montreal and ended up in front of the American Consulate... Chants varied from "Justice Gitmo Style, Five years no trial!" to "What do we want? Fair trials! When do we want them? Now!"

The day ended with demands from the US to close Guantanamo, the biggest illegal detention centre in the world. Protests similar to the one in Montreal were held around the world, including Toronto, Vancouver, Washington, London and Paris.

As I took off my jumpsuit, I remembered the picture that made me shiver throughout the day...

I went online and signed the virtual flotilla going to the US Naval base in Guantanamo. You can, too, you know. And so can your friends...and their friends...and then maybe, someday, when everyone's friends have signed and as many names have been collected as there are people in the world, I won't feel naive about asking this of you because Guantanamo will have been closed down.

Labels: amnesty international, guantanamo bay, human rights, Montreal, protest

Mark, a good friend from Lebanon just gave me a link to Elissa's music. Ummm, after hearing her, I really want to speak Arabic. And i have yet to hear Arabic, Lebanese electronica, which I have been promised ...

In the meantime, I am enjoying Samira Said and Nancy Ajram's songs...so good :)

Labels: arabic music, elissa, lebanese music, nancy ajram

Accusations make you want to defend yourself, but they also often make you say things you wouldn't otherwise say. Heated discussions lead to comments that are rarely uttered. Words of passion can cause an emotional and not intelligent reaction...

Fearing procrastination [battling against procrastination is one of my "unofficial" new year's resolutions], I went in to work early, so early in fact that I had nothing to do for the 30 minutes that I had to wait for my class to begin [this is my language assistant job]. i checked my e-mail [not much new, since I'd just checked it before coming to school ... e-mail maniac, that's me].

I noticed a Wednesday's copy of "Le Journal de Montréal" and what got me was the cover page. On it, two men, one of whom is smiling... In large font, a title of the size that would otherwise be saved for some world catastrophe or some hockey victory: "Selong les communautés, les Québecois sont accueillants" ("According to the [cultural/ethnic] communities, Quebecers are welcoming"). I had seen the page before but I hadn't paid as much attention to it.

The fact that le Journal de Montréal would take such an ethically low stoop on crisis prevention struck me all of a sudden. I wondered what Quebecers thought of this interesting idea. And checked I did. Still, the messages on online forums seem somehow unreal, somehow plastic. Anyone can say anything on the web nowadays, including me, but hearing people say something to you in person is more valuable. It carries more weight for me, somehow. Call me old-fashioned, if you will [some of my students sort of do...will write about that soon], but it takes guts and real emotion to say something you care about to someone else, while knowing that there is a chance they may disagree.

Seeing as Celine, a teacher who teaches across the hallway from my classroom, was the only one in the teachers' lounge, I approached her and showed her the paper. She was preparing for her class in the afternoon, but she welcomed a distraction. She looked at it once and said "well, yeah, in Montreal, we're welcoming, but go to Blainville [not far from Montreal] or the regions of Quebec and you'll see how friendly we are to them."

I mentioned how my Poli. Sci. prof had talked about the fallacy of the survey. She agreed, but at the same time, said it was prejudice that Quebecers carry most in their everyday lives and not racism. This got me thinking, since prejudice is one of the initial steps towards discrimination and then on a more focused lens, racism. I didn't, however, say anything. Her words were far too interesting to distract and I enjoyed hearing honest words from someone who is a "Québecoise de souche" [a born-and-bred in Quebec Quebecer].

She started mentioning things here and there and suddenly, we got to the question of what the reason behind the Quebec racism was, or should I say, Celine did. She said students in her classes were not racist. I mentioned that yes, children are born innocent. Unfortunately, the adults are the ones teaching them about the negative aspects of life and often, imposing their views onto their children. This is a gist of what she said:

"Well, I had a student in class who, when I mentioned how in Montreal, there is a rise in numbers of people wanting to learn arabic, said that they should all be sent home because they are taking over our culture.

Naturally, I told him that he couldn't say things like that in class, especially because I have three Muslim students in that particular section. I could just imagine his father saying something like that...He probably didn't mean it that way, but said it because he heard his father say it.

I do have reservations when it comes to them [by "them", she implied Arabs]. I mean, they are coming in big numbers and they ARE in some ways, influencing and changing our culture negatively. You know, they want their religious needs answered and they ask us to remove our crucifixes from our schools because they say it goes against their religion. Well, I'm sorry, but we were here before them. This school was a Catholic school! Catholicism [the word she used] was here before Islam.

You know, they wanted to wash their feet at Concordia [referring to the actual McGill Muslim Students' Association complaint to the university, which refused to allow the group to have a prayer space ]. They are the kind of people who always want more and more and more. They bring their opinions here and pressure us to accept them. You know, I'm not racist and I am not being one, but I am telling the truth.

Besides, racism and prejudice are two different things. They are not one and the same. We all pre-judge.

Oh, and they are having SOOO many children. I mean, we used to be that way ["we" is used for "Quebecers"] and tried to have as many children as we could. We were all about the family. And then, after the quiet revolution , nothing was the same anymore. Now, the women are all about advancing their careers. And their women are all about having children and taking care of the family. Very soon, Quebec won't be the same anymore...We will not have the same values that we do now. We will be taken over by them."

This was a teacher talking, someone whose likes will teach my children someday.

Somehow, I couldn't understand why this woman, who knows I am Muslim, was telling me all these derogatory things so openly.

I suppose she didn't see me as one of "them".

The crucifix over her head made me think of how threatened she felt. I could only sympathize with her, but I also felt saddened that even in an accepting and welcoming society as the one of Quebec, I witnessed an opinion based on misinformation, ignorance and simple perception of rivalry. It reeked of the ancient balkanic hatred, here in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, North America, the so-called New World.

Photo source: February 11, 2006, Danish Cartoon Protests, Montreal - David Metraux

Labels: Canada, integration, Islam, journal de montreal, Kosovo, Montreal, Muslim, prejudice, problems, quebec, quiet revolution, racism, TVA

This week, I have the following films/shows on my video playlist:

1 - 1984 (1984) Faithfully adapted from George Orwell's novel on a futuristic totalitarian society. Funny that he thought it was futuristic.


2- Sophie's Choice (1982) - The film I am really looking forward to seeing [i have read and heard so much about the book]. Meryl Streep's performance got her an Oscar.
I am looking for something to validate the existence of my own ghosts by exploring Sophie's nightmares ....

3- Sabah (2005) - Hmmm, what would life be without filmmakers who make the hijab the synonym of repression? I can't wait to watch this cute, Canadian, idealistic, semi-political romance [I know, i know...funny, though, anytime religion gets somewhere, no matter how innocent the work may be, it reeks politics and political "ideals"]

4- Little Mosque on the Prairie, episode 2 - I want to check out the second episode to see if the show gets better. It's great for non-Muslims and for me, there is some novelty to it, but so far, I have not found it to be impressive, except of course, for my wannabe-husband Zaib Shaikh, who funny enough, played a gay character in a movie [if only i could remember the title]

Labels: 1984, dvds, george orwell, little mosque on the prairie, mongrel media, movies, sabah, sophie's choice, videos

Since Monday, Quebecers are furious at Journal de Montreal and the TVA TV network for a controversial poll they commissioned with Leger Marketing on what they first called a "poll on racism" and later, fearing repercussions, renamed it to "poll on tolerance" in Quebec. The first article on the results of the poll came out on Monday and some would say caused lots of stir in Quebec, including an attack on a mosque in Montreal on Tuesday night. Funny enough, no major newspapers seem to have covered this incident and few community papers have written on it [a Google search leads me to "Little mosque on the prairie"...perfect].

My political science course professor said it was an unacceptable and subjective poll. The result of 59% of Quebecers being racist was shocking for most... Wednesday, Le Journal de Montreal published an article that tried to downplay the sad statistics they published a couple of days before that. It stated that 82% of immigrant Quebecers stated Quebecers were very friendly and welcoming, yet the poll, aimed at Quebecers born in the province, avoided contact with cultural and religious communities in Quebec. How they got the results, I have no idea...

All I know is yesterday, after my Poli Sci. class, I had a rather interesting conversation with Maria, a girl born here, whose family has Greek origins, who said despite the fact that she was born here, she is made to feel somehow less respected because of her family origins. Her exact words were "they think we are only here to work for them and that's our only objective in life."

Meanwhile, the francophone media is trying to change the focus on the issue. They have been playing and re-playing excerpts from the upcoming episode of "Fifth Estate", which is airing an exclusive interview with "a Muslim fundamentalist who infiltrated the cell" who reveals "the inner workings of the cell and its members. These are young men who have adopted a brand of Islam that they believe sanctions jihad in their home city and against their fellow citizens."

Expect more mosque break-ins and nights of broken glass.
Finally, a distraction for all the problems of Quebec.
The show airs on Friday at 10 pm on CBC.

Labels: fifth estate, Islam, Montreal, quebec, racism

I used to think that Viagra is over and done with, but it seems the busy spamers have found a new way of getting average Joes' attention: Attack their manhood, namely the size of their privates.

As you can see from the three e-mails in a row I got, the size of my member seems to be of great relevance to some unknown Joe Blow...I mean, "Hacker Jose".

And the e-mail:

Hei Chap [ooh, sounds hot..."hei"...I'm already into it] Don't tell me why your Johnson is so small, [what??? but....how did you...??? did you take pics of it in the locker room???? those damn cell cameras!]
I will better help you to make it really Bigger! [bigger with a capital B] Why bigger? Because over 74% of all women need a longer woody to satisfy their desire! [what about men?]
It'll really help you! [here, they are being REALLY convincing] We will ship it worldwide within 24 hours, and if you find our product useless - we'll refund all your money! On the site, a rather emotional testimony:
Kev 66 "... Im no longer ashamed to take my cock our infront of women ..."

Awwww....i used to think my size was fine, but after Kev66's emotional account, *blows nose* well, I guess I just need me some "Man XL".

Labels: e-mail, spam

Hmmm...for four months, i've known Salvador Dali [it's how I like to call him], an exchange student here for a semester. For four months, we've talked about everything except boys...and girls, of course. Which should have triggered my gaydar...

but it didn't.

Today, Salvador Dali decided to come out....on his last week here. He said he kept thinking about it, he wasn't sure, he felt insecure, bla bla bla, the point is, despite the fact that we shared the same roof [along with around 800 other people in the residence], Salvador Dali didn't tell me...and guess what he used as the most logical reason for not telling me: He wasn't sure I was gay...He said sometimes he thought I was, but then, he thought I was European, so it was lost in the europeanness...Then, he said, he wasn't even sure if I was European because he met me at a private residence party and not the "international students' party" and since he is only into foreign men, he didn't want to come after me because maybe I was not "foreign"...

After talking about this, he asked if we could do something this week...I said I'd think about it...

If only I could sleep around with people, this would be perfect. He would leave, I'd never see him again and all would be over. But obvioulsy, I cannot be that simple. I am a complicated gay man, which makes me think of women sometimes. i understand them. All you men who don't, talk to me...

Now all I think about is why this happened... grrrrr. For four months, i wished this macho stereotype was gay and then, here he goes, embraces the rainbow on his last week in town...This is just great.

What else do you have in store for me, Dio? No fair...no fair at all...

P.S: AdamX, I've become addicted to "Ugly Betty"...I hate the title, though and I wish Betty would finally remove those braces... but I LOVE Daniel, especially his hairdo and smile.

P.P.S: I had a rather fun flirt session with a Middle-Eastern guy today...he lives two doors down from where I live... will update if the flirting goes somewhere :)

image credit: psycing

Labels: sad, salvador dali, ugly betty

I saw Jeff today, one of a couple of good friends from Newfoundland who was visiting Montreal and Quebec for a couple of weeks. It was great to see him. Chatting with him and Isabelle, his Quebecer friend, for a couple of hours was great because we had discussion on a range of topics varying from the difference between the Newfoundland Progressive Conservative Party [which he is so fond of] and the federal Conservative Party [which I am not so fond of], to his plans for the next couple of months before he begins his journey of being a law school student in England.

Isabelle, his friend, was also great. I really enjoyed meeting her because she seemed extremely energetic, friendly and approachable. I need people like that in my friends' circle. Besides, her English was better than my French and since she is a reason for jealousy, that's all the more reason for her to be a friend. You see, if she continues to speak English that well, I will become super-stubborn and determined to speak French just as well that someday, I will actually do it.

We met at Orienthe , a tea shop that screams relaxing atmosphere. The place is super-welcoming, warm and most of all homey. They play Middle-Eastern lounge music along with Far East tunes. The space is small but well-used with pink and multi-coloured cushions. Buddha sculptures greet you in two windows there and a fake palm tree [which I think they should remove because it's in utter disharmony with everything else in the room] stands behind you on one of the benches. I know because I had a fight with that palm tree while trying to get a picture taken the first time I got here with Mandy, a friend from Labrador.

The staff, aside from being attractive [are they hand-picked?], are really friendly and welcoming, as well, so it's a good mix. They let me take a few pictures and they seemed patient when I was adjusting my camera for what seemed like centuries of time.

This is a paradise for the tea lover. The choices range from Japanese green tea [what Isabelle had] to Celtic tea [what Jeff had] to Medina Marakesh [what I have every time I go there].
The cute thing about Orienthe is that you go around wearing slippers that look like made for some Ottoman emperor, so you, too, can feel imperial, that is, only if you want to feel that way.

The Montreal Orienthe, though unique here, has its sister shops in Lyon and Aix-en-Provence in France.

I think I will make frequent visits to Orienthe from now on and base my "search for Mr.Right" headquarters in the tea shop. There, where happy straight couples come to kiss, eat baklava and smoke hookah , I will be at peace and able to plan my Mr.Right search strategy better. If only the cute guys serving other guests wouldn't distract me every now and then...
P.S: They have a Turkish evil eye amulet in the shop...I was surprised to see it :)

Labels: friends, Montreal, orienthe, tea, tea shop

I was thinking of writing about meeting another of the entertaining teachers I work with, but I decided I should write about something more fun instead.

I have been listening to more Albanian music in Canada than I would have cared to listen if I had been in Kosovo. I would have probably been obsessed with trance, hip-hop and r&b, genres which seems to be keywords for party music back home.

Funny how life works... Below are some of the Albanian songs I've been listening to quite a bit in the last few months... Keep in mind these are not typical American / British pop rhythms, though a few may remind you of it. Most of the songs have a Balkan turbo folk feel to it, with traditional instruments like qifteli, flute and violin mixed into it.

Enjoy :)

Dance tunes:

Arta Bajrami - Fiesta
Arta Bajrami - Nije Këtë Send
Genta - Mpuq, Mpuq
Zanfina Ismaili - Ti s'do t'ia dish
Genta - Një Lutje
Zanfina Ismaili - Gajdexhiu
Edona Llalloshi - Kush po te pëlqen
Greta Koci - Kam Mall
Arta Bajrami - 100 Grade Celsius
Arta Bajrami - As me gram e as me okë
Leonora Poloska - Do te Digjesh



Slower songs:

Eliza Hoxha - Pendimi
Gili - Prishtina
Alma Bektashi - Iluzion
Leonora Poloska - Fati Im

Music sources: Albamuzika & Realiteti

Labels: albanian, alma bektashi, arta bajrami, eliza hoxha, favourite music, leonora poloska, mp3, muzike, shqip, zanfina

I can't believe that I am writing this much about religion in the last couple of days, but I am finding that so many things seem to happen and they all seem equally important to mention. Funny enough, they mostly seem to be of religious nature.

I got back to Montreal today. I had a wonderful holiday with the family and friends. It helped me fuel up for another semester of French, three jobs and 0 Mr.Right candidates.

I boarded the plane, which, as usual, was late. Every time I'm on a plane, I get stuck sharing the seat with the following:

1-antisocial, geeky girls who bury their heads in the novels they read;
2-seniors who are dead quiet and will not say anything, no matter what I ask them;
3-seniors who can't be quiet no matter how quiet I am;
4-men who think making conversation is flirting.

So, naturally, I was surprised to have a rather attractive, blue-eyed, twenty-something guy sit next to me and start talking. I wasn't really into talking and for the first time, understood what the antisocial, geeky girls I share seats with feel when I try to talk to them.

Noticing that I am becoming someone I don't want to be, I decided to talk to the oddly dressed stranger [khaki pants and a sky-blue shirt that reminded me of Future Shop salespeople]. He told me he was a technician for dialysis machines [fun...]. When I asked him where he was from, he said he was from Montreal, which made my day, especially when he said he was Francophone. I could practice my French! So we started talking in French.

He asked me where my name came from. I explained...He asked what the religion in Kosovo was. Upon hearing it was Islam, he asked if I was Muslim, which I thought was a bit inappropriate, but hey, it was also a good conversation starter...Next, he asked: "So, are you religious?", to which I answered that I was religious. He said he didn't believe in public displays of religion, including women's hijab and burka. I said I agreed with him to an extent, but that people had a right to their religion. He said he disagreed. I asked what he would do about the crucifixes in the classrooms of the school i teach in. Should they remove them? I mean, the nuns gave those schools up more than a decade ago, yet the crucifixes remain there... All this fuss about kirpan, hijab, and there's a crucifix as big as me in the classroom.

We get talking and the guy starts to make completely condescending remarks to the point that he reminds me of the Latter Day Saints guys who say that if I don't embrace their way of thinking, I will not be saved when time comes.

Since I don't want to relive this horror of having a Jehovah's-Witness-alike sit next to me [and you thought having them knock on your door is a nuissance], I won't bother writing about the details this "religious" man shared, including the fact that Jesus will only come to save the good Christians...I asked him: "So will Muslims and Jews not be saved?" He paused and said "Not unless you accept Jesus in your lives". Then he said I should consider converting to Christianity because it existed before Islam, therefore it is righteous.

I was kinda having fun with this guy until he started being completely disrespectful about Islam, calling it a new religion, one that stole from Christianity, whose members have forced and continue to force the faith unto others. This was enough. Guess what I did next. I said: "I am finding this repulsive. I can't believe you call yourself religious. I respect your religion and expect you to respect mine. I have no time for people who in the name of reasoning plant seeds of prejudice." I kinda thought I fetched it a bit far by the last sentence, but he got the point. I took the headphones and untangled them [that took an hour], then tried to play a movie on the touch screen LCD monitor in front of me. It was slow, so i got frustrated, tried it another dozen times and then continued reading Necla Kelek's "The foreign Bride", a book on Turkish life in Germany [in German, too...I'm proud of myself, I'm reading German!].

The rest of the day was ok...I started working as a teacher's assistant in an intermediate English for Business course. It's ok for now. The work doesn't seem too hard and the students look pretty friendly, and most importantly, the prof is kinda friendly. I say kinda because today, in class, I was taken aback by something she said [and then i just laughed...it was too funny not to].

She gave her students an activity whereby they had to decide, in a list of priorities, what was most important for building a chocolate factory. When one of the students pointed out the level of pollution at an area as a factor important to him for building [or not] a factory, she turned to me and said: "Don't you think they come up with the craziest ideas? I mean, who the hell would build a chocolate factory in an area that's polluted? They sometimes don't realize the difference between home and here."

photo: radiopooh

Labels: Canada, Islam, Montreal, prejudice, work

After a series of boring tv shows, something of interest seems to be brewing in the studios of CBC TV.

I'm excited about "Little Mosque on the Prairie",a pilot project CBC TV has come up with, in an effort to diversify its content on tv and make it more representative of its viewers in Canada...and maybe even the post 9/11 world that Muslim Canadians find themselves in. The buzz is about a new show based on the true experiences of Zarqa Nawaz, a Canadian Muslim woman who settled in Winnipeg, Manitoba ten years ago.

The show features a cast with some CBC regulars, as well as some newbies. My favourite actor in this show is Zaib Shaikh, whose innocent, religious character is a huge turn-on. He is also cute. Hmmm, yes, I would marry this guy..

It's to be seen whether the show is any good. The fact that it's generated lots of media coverage in the US, Canada and Europe must mean something.

Contrary to what some of my friends seem to think, saying it's another attempt by the CBC to change Canadians' minds about prejudice and discrimination through humour. I don't see anything wrong with that. Yes, it has CBC fingerprints all over it and yes, it looks like a typical CBC show, but having never seen a show on Muslims, I can safely say it's a first. As such, it should be given a chance to prove its humour. As one of the characters in the series says sarcastically, "Muslims are known for their sense of humour."

I kinda hope they put up the episodes on the web, since, starting Tuesday, I'll be back to my student life in Montreal, meaning there will be no TV waiting for me at the end of the day :(

Labels: Canada, CBC, Islam, little mosque on the prairie, Muslim, TV, zaib shaikh, Zarqa Nawaz

Ok, so it's only the 5th, but I am already feeling like I didn't cut myself any slack when I decided to come up with those 5 (am I insane???) resolutions. I have reviewed them and here are the most important two that I will hold on to:

1-will try to finish a draft of a biographical novel on someone very dear to me
2-will not give up the search for Mr.Right...I am DEFINITELY not giving up just yet.

This is so much more realistic...two resolutions are more doable....as are a few other things, but anyway...grrrr, it's 1:30 am and my mind is going places...

Labels: mr.right, new year's resolutions

Over mango tango (a mix of orange juice, mango and whipped cream) and with a friend who knew nothing of politics ("ummmm, why are you guys talking so much about Iraq? Did something happen there or something?"), my friend Haroon and I discussed the recent execution of Saddam Hussein.

Both of us being naturally interested in politics and especially Middle East politics, we began discussing the importance of Hussein's execution on the night before Eid-ul-Adha, one of the two most important Muslim holidays of the year. Yes, Saddam Hussein was executed on the eve of what in Christian culture would be seen as the execution of a former president who has committed war crimes on Christmas Eve, or a prime minister who has been executed on the first day of Hannukah. We talked about two things and Haroon disagreed with one, namely the idea that Saddam would now be seen as a martyr by the Sunnis of Iraq, seeing as cell phone camera footage showed the demeaning treatment he had been given during the final moments of his life. Yes, I sympathize with Saddam Hussein when it comes to the last moments of his life because NO ONE deserves to die that way, not even someone who has caused the deaths of tens of thousands of fellow citizens. We both agreed on the point that his execution was well-planned ahead of time so as to collide with Eid-ul-Adha. It was a strategy of revenge of sorts, probably to the Sunnis of Iraq to demonstrate that now, it is the power hour of the Shi'a.

Today, BBC has an interesting article on Egyptian president Hosni Mobarak's reactions to the execution. It turns out, he's not happy either. As for the reactions in the Middle Eastern media, well, let's just say that right now, the cup is almost empty. And what does Amnesty International have to say about all this? Oh, sad times...

Labels: amnesty international, execution, iraq, media, middle east, saddam hussein